Category Archives: News

Gargoyle Girls reviewed in Rue Morgue, Cthulhu reviewed at Innsmouth Free Press

Gargoyle Girls of Spider Island was reviewed in the latest issue of Rue Morgue, which has been my favorite horror publication for many years. Here’s what they said about it: “If you were to take everything horror writers typically shy away from and mush it into one streamlined novel, you might get something like splatterpunk adventure tale Gargoyle Girls of Spider Island. Expect to see gruesome shark attacks, pirate hijackings and plenty of multi-vaginal tentacle monsters during your travels, while action, sex, and laughs compete for page space. Seriously.”

A huge thanks to Jessa Sobczuk for that review.

Also, Nathaniel Katz wrote an in-depth review of Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom for Innsmouth Free Press. You can read that here.

In the past few weeks, I’ve had a new story published (“Crayfish House” at Small Doggies Magazine) and five poems were published by New Wave Vomit.

Apex on Bizarro Fiction

Apex Book Company has published a writeup on bizarro fiction by Don Campbell, in which they provide a brief overview of the genre and discuss some of the works of Carlton Mellick III, Mykle Hansen, Jeff Burk, and my own Ass Goblins of Auschwitz. Click here to read it. While you’re on the Apex website, be sure to check out Issue 31 of Apex Magazine as well as their bookstore. This year, Apex published Starve Better by Nick Mamatas, Let’s Play White by Chesya Burke, and re-released Like Death by Tim Waggoner, among other titles.

Looking for some inspiration or just some cool pictures to stare at? Head on over to Matthew Revert’s Trash Complex, where he has posted some incredible Czech new wave film posters. Also, over at Bizarro Central, Sam Reeve is blogging about a different weird artist every day for the entire month of December. The artists she has chosen so far have all been incredible.

In other news,  Abortion Arcade is now available for the Kindle. Abortion Arcade contains No Children (a post-apocalyptic novella about zombies who farm humans like cattle), The Roadkill Quarterback of Heavy Metal High (a Troma-esque high school drama about Dio, football, and the terrors of an adolescent werewolf), and The Destroyed Room, which might be my favorite longer work I’ve written.

Cthulhu News

Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom is now available for the Kindle. You can purchase the trade paperback or e-book here.

Ross Lockhart, editor of the excellent anthology The Book of Cthulhu, recently included Cthulhu/Vampire on a list of his favorite books of the year at SF Signal. Here’s what he said about it: “A bizarro fever-dream tale of vampire lovers attempting to summon a hamburger and LOLCat-obsessed Cthulhu to destroy their doomed undersea kingdom. Including a Necronomicon that is really a unicorn coloring book, Cthulhu Comes to the Vampire Kingdom is sure to annoy Lovecraftian purists, but made me laugh out loud at many turns.” I recommend reading the complete list.

In other Cthulhu news, you still have time to vote on the Cthulhu/Twilight war. Cast your vote for a chance to win a Lovecraftian/vampire package that will include The Book of Cthulhu (edited by Ross Lockhart), The Orange Eats Creeps by Grace Krilanovich, The Selected Fiction of Henry James (signed by Re-Animator director Stuart Gordon), a bootlegged copy of every Twilight movie, and more.

 

Booklife and Truly Immortal Poetry About My Cat in Knitted Sweaters

I’m sure many of you are familiar with Booklife by Jeff VanderMeer, a guidebook of strategies and advice for surviving as a writer in the hypermedia explosion that is life in the age of the internet. Booklife is not a ‘how-to’ guide or a book on writing craft, and this is a good thing. I think this book is essential reading for anyone attempting to nurture a writing career in the early twenty-first century. You’ll learn from this book. You’ll be inspired and motivated.

I’ve read Booklife multiple times. Each time I discover some piece of inspiration that I somehow missed (or failed to fully process) before. About a year ago, I was rereading the appendix of Booklife. Appendix F is a short essay called “Evil Monkey’s Guide to Creative Writing.” Toward the bottom of the second page, I was struck so hard by a single line in the essay that I dropped my snifter of brandy. The dog began lapping up the brandy, cutting his tongue on the broken glass, but I was paralyzed. Struck dumb.

I realized where I’d gone wrong in my booklife.

This is the line that affected me so: “No one has ever written truly immortal poetry about how good their dog looks in knitted garments.”

Of course, Evil Monkey shot straight to the root of my problem. I had written books about flying sharks, pickles and pancakes falling in love, children imprisoned in concentration camps, and Cthulhu’s quest for the perfect hamburger, but secretly, in private, I had filled numerous spiral-bound notebooks with poetry about how good my dog looks in knitted garments. These ‘dog poems’ comprised the majority of my output, but none of them had been published. Eraserhead Press did not want my dog poetry. Neither did Tin House, Melville House, Glimmer Train, Caketrain, or the countless other publications and presses where I had submitted my dog poems.

And so, guided by the sage advice of Evil Monkey, I reexamined my booklife.

I tossed my dog poems in the garbage can, put on my best cardigan sweater, and threw myself into a creative furor. For many months I burned, until one day I looked up from the typewriter, only to realize that my masterpiece was finished. I called it Truly Immortal Poetry About My Cat in Knitted Sweaters.

My thought process had gone something like this:

Cats are more literary than dogs.

Sometimes my dog cat simply does not look good in knitted garments. If poetry is about spilling/revealing/stabbing the eternal truths of the universe, then it was my duty as a poet to write about how ugly my dog cat looked sometimes.

Specificity is key. I chose sweaters to replace garments, but I could have just as easily chosen socks, scarves, or booties. Admittedly, my gut instinct said booties, but I feared the establishment might not take me seriously enough. Everyone likes sweaters.

Of course, writing my masterpiece wasn’t all that easy. During those months, I endured many dark nights of the soul. I overcame the anxiety of influence. I battled inner demons and police offers, who insisted that a ‘blurb request’ violated the restraining order Harold Bloom had placed on me. Let’s put all that aside for now. This is a happy time, for I can finally announce the impending release of my masterpiece!


Look at the glowing praise TRULY IMMORTAL POETRY ABOUT MY CAT IN KNITTED SWEATERS has received! The stunning cover, created by design virtuoso Matthew Revert, is sure to send copies flying off bookstore (and digital) shelves.

For this, my masterpiece and what is certain to be the poetry event of next year, I only have Jeff VanderMeer and Evil Monkey to thank. And maybe my dog cat.

Look for Truly Immortal Poetry About My Cat in Knitted Sweaters in stores early next year.

For now, be sure to pick up a copy of Booklife: Strategies and Survival Tips for the 21st-Century Writer by Jeff VanderMeer. Maybe you too can write truly immortal poetry like me.

Lloyd Kaufman praises The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz!

“This book is a Eurosleaze fairytale that’s better than the Da Vinci Code and should be on Oprah’s Book List! Pierce is one of the weirdest, most imaginative writers around. Toxie-approved!” – Lloyd Kaufman, director of The Toxic Avenger and Poultrygeist

I’m going to be geeking out about this forever. Time to celebrate with a Troma movie marathon.

Uncle Lloyd himself.

Dutch review of The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz

The amazing Pink Bullets just posted a positive review of The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz. Judith, their reviewer, was even kind enough to send me an English translation. If your Dutch is fluent, click here to read the review at Pink Bullets. Also check out the rest of Pink Bullets at http://www.pinkbullets.nl. Here’s the English translation:

Bizarre book: Ass Goblins of Auschwitz

“Literary snob as I am, I thought I knew all literary genres. I was wrong. Bizarro fiction is new to me. This genre pursuits to be strange, fascinating, thought provoking and fun. Ass Goblins of Auschwitz is strange and fascinating, but I wasn’t sure if reading it would be fun.

I have to be honest, after the first chapter I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep on reading about the conjoined twins Otto and his brother. Or as they are called in Auschwitz; 1001 and 999. The bizarre fantasy world of author Cameron Pierce is however so bizarre and fascinating, that I had to keep on reading. Strange or not, it is a well written book.

The story is told from the point of view of Otto’s brother, whom we only get to know by his Auschwitz name; 999. Before the ass goblins came, Otto, his brother and all the other children lived in Kidsland. It was a nice and happy place, with seldom any problems. The biggest problem of the conjoined twins, was another set of conjoined twins; Frannie and Frannie 2. Frannie is great, Frannie 2 is creepy as hell.

One day, without a warning, the ass goblins invade Kidsland. All the children which aren’t murdered, are taken to Auschwitz, where they have to work in toy factories all day. Their food is the skin of deceased children and their own organs. The organs are served to them in a very peculiar way, by the toilet toads. If you want to know how exactly, you’ll have to read it yourself. When the main ass goblin -Adolf- is away, a couple of scientists decide to experiments on the conjoined twins and Frannie, Frannie 2, Otto and his brother get a chance to escape…

You’ve probably already understood, this is not your everyday story. The ass goblins aren’t just monsters, they look like that as well. Filthy creatures, nothing more than asses on legs, with sick hobbies like shit slaughter, also known as SS.

In short, this is a true bizarro novel.
Strange? Check.
Fascinating? Check.
Thought provoking? Check.
Fun to read? Yes. In between all the filth, there is humor, but if you don’t like filthy stories, don’t start this book. I kind of like filthy stories, therefore I am giving this book four out of the five pink bullets. This was a reading experience I will never forget.”

Portland Shows, January-April 2010

There are always a lot of great shows in Portland, but the truth is, I don’t have enough money to attend many events.  Money is unkind to me, or I am unkind to money.  Anyway, here are the ones I’m dying to see at the moment.  Feel free to give me all your money so I can attend these shows (except the one I don’t want to attend).  I will even tell you what a great time I had.

January 15th — INTRO5SPECT @ Plan B

I heard Intro5pect for the first time on a discount compilation I got in Laguna Beach, California when I was fourteen.  That compilation also exposed me to Reagan Youth, Christ on a Crutch, and many other great bands.  It was a great record store too.  On the same trip, I found several Misfits bootlegs, including Cough/Cool, Halloween, and Return of the Fly, in addition to a rare Sisters of Mercy 7″.  Nothing beats a good punk show, and I heard MDC is playing as well.

February 4th — DO MAKE SAY THINK @ Mississippi Studios

Do Make Say Think is a “post-rock” band in the vein of Godspeed You Black Emperor and Explosions in the Sky.  At times, they sound kind of like a jazz band playing low-fi garage rock. At their best, they’re at least as good as Godspeed You Black Emperor.  I saw them in Hollywood a few years ago, and they put on a phenomenal show.  One of the best bands I’ve seen live, they also feature an incredible (albeit slightly underused) horns section.  Mississippi Studios is only a few miles from the Bizarro Bunker, so I’ll probably have to attend this no matter what.

February 18th — CHRISTIAN DEATH @ Berbati’s Pan

Actually, this is the show I least want to attend.  It’s been said before, but let me say it now: Fuck Valor.  Christian Death, helmed by Rozz Williams, began as one of the seminal death rock bands in Los Angeles. Rozz Williams was nineteen when Christian Death’s first album, Only Theatre of Pain, was released.  That album featured Rikk Agnew, formerly of The Adolescents, on guitar.  It’s still a seminal punk/death rock album.  The band quickly disseminated and later reformed with a new lineup. Rozz Williams was still on vocals, but now Valor Kand played guitar.  For their second album (Catastrophe Ballet, 1984), Christian Death incorporated new influences — above all, European surrealism — into their shock tendencies and L.A. punk roots.  Valor deserves a lot of credit for Catastrophe Ballet, perhaps Christian Death’s best album.  When Rozz Williams — the only remaining original member — left the band in 1985, the band decided to keep playing, under what became known as Valor’s Christian Death.  Rozz Williams later released a few other Christian Death albums, most notably The Path of Sorrows, which features an interesting cover of Velvet Underground’s Venus in Furs.  Although Valor has attempted to revive the band at various points, he essentially sucks at understanding or executing what works about shock rock (think Alice Cooper’s Dead Babies, a song Rozz Williams later covered with a difference project).  He made it fucking lame, although it’s kind of amusing to see he’s still around.

At this point, I have to stop talking about Christian Death.  I’ll do a full write-up on Rozz Williams and the history of his various projects at some point.

March 26th — ACID MOTHERS TEMPLE @ Mississippi Studios

A double serving of crazy fucking Japanese freak-out psychedelia with a dose of heavy metal on the side?  Fuck yeah!  Acid Mothers Temple is very high on my list of must-see bands.  I’m glad they’re playing close to me.  At Mississippi Studios, I can at least sit in the bar and not pay for the show and still hear the music.  They’ve put out more albums than I can keep track of, and they’ve switched up their name a lot (Acid Mothers Temple & the Pink Ladies Blues, Acid Mothers Temple & the Incredible Strange Band, Acid Mothers Temple & the Melting Paraiso U.F.O., etc.), but they seem to be consistently awesome.

April 9th — RJD2 @ Dante’s

On most days, I would place RJD2′s Deadringers above DJ Shadow’s Entroducing…, so I’m excited to see that RJD2 is coming to town, especially to a good small-ish venue like Dante’s.  Of the shows I actually want to attend, this is the one I’m most likely to miss.  In fact, I can tell you now that I won’t go.  I want to go, but Intro5pect, Do Make Say Think, Acid Mothers Temple, and Jandek take precedence over nearly all hip hop.  Sorry, Forrest.

April 29th — JANDEK and THURSTON MOORE @ Hollywood Theatre

Jandek with Thurston Moore?  Shit.  And it’s a one-time only show.  With the exception of Current 93′s show(s) in New York in the spring, I can’t imagine a show I would want to see more in 2010.  Hopefully I can get a ticket.

Jodorowsky no longer making King Shot

Alejandro Jodorowsky is no longer making King Shot, his metaphysical gangster film starring Marilyn Manson as a 300-year-old pope. That’s a serious bummer, but he is slated to direct a sequel to El Topo. I don’t know how I feel about that. Read the entire story at The Guardian.

The Kind of Goblins Ilsa Would Be Proud Of

Matthew Revert reviewed The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz over at Clockwork Father. Here’s what he had to say:

“The outrageously named, ‘Ass Goblins of Auschwitz’ is the kind of book that a potential reader can ascertain whether or not they’ll enjoy based on their reaction to the title. If the title tickles most of your funny bones, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll enjoy it. If not, perhaps steer clear. Being an avid fan of Nazi Exploitation films, I responded quite favorably to the title.

Gross out tomfoolery abounds as we are taken to an alternate Auschwitz, ruled by a flatulent race of beings called the Ass Goblins. They travel to a neighbouring planet and abduct children to work as slaves in their camp and when the mood strikes, they ferment them into cider. These children are subjected to all manner of unpleasantness as they try, seemingly in vain, simply to survive. The story revolves around two slaves, 999 and 1001, who are conjoined twins and their experiences within the camp. Suffice to say, in order to survive, they will have to consume their fellow slaves, construct toys out of their fellow slaves and endure various violations.

Okay, so we have ourself a story bound to appeal to those who like their fiction crazy and dripping in filth. It’s a fun read, despite the sense of darkness and hopelessness that permeates throughout. Where this story maybe falls a little flat is in areas concerning character development and genuine emotional connection. These children are subjected to abject horror but as a reader, I felt distanced from it. Character development exists but not in a meaningful way. This prevented it from truly affecting me and instead, I just found it immensely fun. I’m not going to complain about that too much because having a good time while reading isn’t a bad thing. And let’s face it, if you’re buying this book, you’re probably doing so because you’re attracted to OTT ideas involved.

Those who are fans of Bizarro will like this. It ticks all the boxes we’ve come to expect from the genre. Those unfamiliar with Bizarro but into Nazi Exploitation cinema should give this a go. These are the kind of Goblins Ilsa herself would be proud of.”

Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden reviewed at SF Site

Today I discovered that Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden was reviewed over at SF Site.  Here’s what they said:

“Apparently there is a genre called Bizarro Fiction. I hadn’t know about it before reading Shark Hunting in Paradise Garden by Cameron Pierce. Now I do. It touched me deeply. I have not yet decided if it was inappropriate touching.

While this is a short book, it is not one for the faint of heart. Death abounds, mostly from giant flying sharks. There’s blood, guts, violence, blasphemy, genesis and vampiric subterranean slug-fish. There’s no sex though, much to the apparent disappointment of one of the robots.

If you can cope with the idea of a man who has sturgeons growing out of every part of his body for no explained reason being the fellow priest of a man who can become a giant toad and turn people into mannequins, then this is probably a good book for you.

If the idea of giant mutant fruit sharks (such as the deadly banana shark) fighting a war against killer Vatican robots from the future for control of the Garden of Eden leaves you a bit cold, you should probably give this a pass.”